never walk into a public restroom with your mouth open–i don’t care what cool person’s holding the door for you as they walk out–keep your lips closed & wave at them…or chance being greeted by remnants of the monster scent they left behind that will stick to your teeth ’til you can brush them again…seriously, sometimes it’s like, worse than your dad’s was when–nevermind.

never use just any coworker’s lotion–soon as you start slathering it on, you realize that they are the confusing smell lingering in the copy room that you could never figure out.

do not work out with coworkers at the gym if you’re sensitive to smell–you’ll never look at them the same again…

do not make ‘yucky face’ when you recognize the brown clogs that made a bee-line from the stall to the door of the restroom (bypassing the sink) after the flush, earlier that day.

do not make ‘yucky face’ again when you realize that ‘brown clogs’ brought in the cake your cube-mate is devouring after lunch…and do not smile about it either.