random…

things i know for sure today…

…nba basketball is not all bad.
…my mom is more brave than she realizes.
…even though i FEEL like serena williams when i’m on the tennis court, i’m almost positive that i LOOK more like…i dunno, hank williams jr.
…sometimes family brings out the worst in you…in which case, i feel you have every right to distance yourself from them…and not feel bad about it.
…i should probably bowl more.
…i just can’t figure out why i lost all interest in ’smallville.’  and i really have given this a lot of thought.
…the next time i see that one man begging at that one intersection, i will give him all the cash that i keep in that one particular place in my car.
…some people have more pet drama than people drama.
…dimples are sexy.
…i wish i had the means to travel the world on a whim…but i know that more than likely, i’d stumble upon the perfect spot immediately…and never leave it.
…i may look like the average chick…but this blog means i’m…not.
…even without speaking a single word with them, chances are that any adult that you see taking a swimming class is pretty awesome…and adorable.

…i am so blessed.

sure, there’s a point…i promise.

one amazing feeling, as captured by a few wandering thoughts.

you can listen to this while you read…if you like:   the point of it all– anthony hamilton
…it fits my groove/mood/thoughts/cravings/o.c.d. today better than other songs i’ve heard recently.

…it’s rainy outside, yet warm…i’m here alone, but not lonely…longing, though not sad…totally humbled, yet full of love–to the point of almost bursting–so full that i’m not quite sure what i’m supposed to do when i find myself so…aware…of it all…screaming, jumping up and down, tears, or hysterical laughter would all be reasonable reactions, even to the most conservative of people…if they could feel it for even a second.
i’m trying to communicate something, without rambling on forever–because i could, you understand, NEVER run out of words to describe this high…even on low days. it’s just that i’m more sure than i’ve ever been in my life that it’s mutual and right..despite any opposition we may ever come to know of, which we’ll always ignore…focusing instead, on what’s been true from the start.
…i’m saying all this (rambling, despite myself) to get to my point…EYE LOVE EWE…so deeply that i hear you when you’re not speaking, feel you when you’re beyond my reach, and see you in every experience i have.
as far apart as we are…as rarely as we get to physically be together, i’m so grateful…for the opportunity to see the progress of what we’re building up from the foundation of love, respect, and honesty that we agreed upon not so long ago…for the understanding of how we had to live through our experiences from ‘before us’ so we can better appreciate our ‘after’…and how we’re equipped with the presence of mind to notice and give thanks for the differences…and the tools to express them all…and the passion between us for paying attention to every.little.thing…and the bravery to acknowledge who we are to each other……amazing when i think about it. (catching my breath now) that’s it…for now.
thanks again for being here…choosing me…loving me…affording me the motivation to expand/better who i am, how i see…my world in general…ok, i’m stopping now…again…i really could go on…because there’s always something good to say, even when things are hard…always a happy thought to share about–nevermind. enough…the point…you…i love…and i want to make you understand th–. (running away from my computer as fast as i can now, as it’s the only way i’ll stop)

my space

there are quiet times…

when i’m thankful for the opportunity to hear and think what i will with no more influence over those thoughts than the birds chirping, or the rain falling, or the sun peeking.  no sounds of other thinkers interrupting the melodies of my choosing.  no sights to yank me clear of the fog of my creation where dreams and wishes are spread before me…all within reach…all inside my calm, where i do or say nothing to disturb anyone else.  today, there’s a hint of anticipation crackling within this bubble of mine, alongside the relishing of doing nothing…but this.  it comes from knowing this time is limited–because of my own doing.  i’ve made plans for a little while from now so…soon, i’ll run back out to join the ranks of those carrying on life within sight and sound of each other…noticing and being noticed…maybe.  my sounds or the scenes i create while making my own way will meld into others’ to be acknowledged or dismissed as deemed fit…or not.  and i’ll be ok…knowing i always have my quiet…my calm.

jus_nic

ok, sure, it’s definitely been a good, long minute since i put a complete thought out into the world, outside of  freakin’ twitter. i won’t get into how i gave in & addictified myself to yet another silly fad, just because it affords me a quick & creative way to purge the silly/dark/empty thoughts i’m known for conjuring when i’m left to my own devices–as opposed to collapsing into the naps i’m so fond of..not that i’ve given up napping…but now, i dream in tweets & chirps with celebs who take small breaks from their fabulosity for short meaningless conversations with the likes of me.
in my mind, i’ve miraculously awakened a latent humor or originality in every other thought i’ve had since creating that stupid account…and i continuously find justification in sharing said sparks of genius with millions of twits just like me, even as i read more & more that i’m eating away the last chunk of internet available to the free world with my open texts to the universe-at-large…but enough about that & back to the fact that it’s been so long since i’ve blogged that i actually forgot my username and password & was unable to log in tonight…it was pitiful.
i’m gonna get back on it though…soon. and it’s not even that i haven’t done anything worth capturing here–since my last post, i’ve returned safely (yet, sadly) from ohio, celebrated mother’s day with my very own, and traveled to atlanta to spend time with grands, complete with a trip to the one of the best aquariums i’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting.
for those of you who know i’ve begun writing a book, i haven’t stepped anywhere near that for quite awhile either…but again, i will. i hope to lay off the travelling for a minute & find my groove here at home again…so…tweet me luck!  =))