words…i have plenty…about the weather, which is unseasonably warm for january, about my friends, one of whom is now considered a superhero by all my accounts…about how you can be caught off guard by exactly how close you can feel to any one friend, given the moment that you both find yourself struggling through at any point…about how a missed birthday greeting (regardless of how much you told yourself not to expect it in the first place) can affect you, no matter how great your bday turns out to be otherwise…because this makes things final…even when you’d told yourself months ago that things were as final as they could be…about money and how you have enough, in one respect, but then not enough to do everything you want, when you want, and how you want.
i have words about the heart and about how with every new flex of its muscles, you wonder if you’re making the right decision. and your heart says it’s happy, whether what you’re doing works out or not…and that trying, alone, is always the right decision because love is worth taking a chance for, no matter the situation…
…words about stress and happiness and wisdom–which you can gain every day, if you’re paying attention…about how being open to trying new beers can fill you up so fast, you don’t care to try anymore…because, you just don’t understand…beer..and everyday beer drinkers…words about writing and how amazing it feels while you’re doing it, but that the struggle is actually in the motivation–not the words themselves.
i think you can be afraid, when words are your preferred medium, about the picture you’ll paint once you put them down. you don’t want to say anything to belittle your happiness, or sadness, or hope for any particular situation to work out the way you want. words can cover all that, but your heart will only express what you’re feeling in that moment…right now, i’m feeling…excitement…hopefulness, but i’m also feeling pretty stubborn about a particular situation…because i refuse to settle, and i refuse to let anyone settle for me…but that’s not to say that i don’t feel afraid/anxious about a friend & her health…or about upcoming travel i’m nervous about planning.
words. pick, choose, and share how you like…but no matter what you put down, those words will be correct, because as 2 of my best friends always tell me, “it’s how you feel…”…quite simply the best advice/affirmation i’ve gotten in years.
