‘chucky cheese!! chucky cheese!!’

thanksgiving with my family was awesome. it always is. here’s just a quick glimpse of some of the things i got to see while i was there:

a crooked wig on one family member who didn’t seem to care.

2 rollers in 1 grandmother’s hair…only 2…strategically placed rollers.

a 3 year-old stranger-child who yelled ‘chucky cheese!!’ every time my brother entered the room.

a grown woman, blaming the spilling of punch down my leg on a 1 yr old baby…for SHAME!!!

a ridiculous scene made by my brother and i while my granddad ate ‘chitlins’ in front of us…because we were both grossed out, we acted as if we were throwing up and choking to death…and in effect, almost choked him to death as he laughed at us.

someone (i shall not name names) who was ‘lady’ enough to wait until she was just outside the door of someone’s home before ripping the biggest poot i’ve ever heard by a human lady who clearly had no regard for my life or nasal passages during the act.

a really good high school football game…at least i think it was really good…as it was 37 degrees and windy, i cannot be sure about WHAT my eyes actually saw, because they were frozen & immobile by the end of the game.

…now, it’s almost Christmas…and i can’t wait to see what they show me next.

wasting time.

yesterday, i (yes EYE) went fishing.  i never really did anything like that when i was younger…i don’t think anybody in my family thought i’d be interested…worms and all i guess…yeah, they were right.  besides that, who’s got room in a small boat for a gangly, amazingly allergic kid and all the stuff she ‘needed’ to have with her at all times (i.e. inhalers, 4 books, lotion, 2 skin creams, an electronic game with plenty of batteries, a Rubik’s cube, and an etch-a-sketch)…WHO?  …nobody i knew. 

i actually did  hope to catch something yesterday, but i’m wondering what i would’ve done if i had…hmm…picture a quickly-rigged contraption where the fishing pole was tied to a chair/tree/small child, keeping my catch just far enough inside the edge of the water to stay alive while i run away screaming for help…and accolades.  i hope the folks that i was with didn’t actually expect me to touch anything i caught.  the bait was artificial, and i was careful not to let even a drop of water from the pond touch me…last thing i need is some gross infection…or fish bite…yet, somehow i still found the whole experience to be…relaxing.

the michael jackson cd someone had blasting from the house closest to the pond was pretty sweet too. 

yep…nothing like some good ol’ outdoorsey, all-natural fishin’ for this country girl.

lol

hmm…

ever wonder what people think of you, just based on your appearance?  i do.  ever wonder if it’s positive, or weird…or if there’s something comical that they see that you didn’t…like YOU think you look great, but they see what your hair is really talkin’ bout.

i wonder what goes thru their minds when this 5′10″ reddish-brown ‘being’ saunters their way, bandana framing a wild mop of silver-streaked black curls, hovering over curious eyes with an ever-ready goofy grin.  i get lotsa smiles, some come naturally…others, i coax forward with a ‘hey there’ or  a wave.  it almost always works…but after that moment, i wonder if folks walk away shaking their heads.

the reason this is on my mind at all is because some friends and i were in a crowd of hundreds during a music festival over the weekend.  there were so many different types of people…families were there together, friends…lovers.  it’s always so interesting–the dynamics of a person who’s out to have a good time…did they plan to be there, or just happen upon the location and stop by…or were they dragged out unwillingly…would that explain their manner of dress, or their jubilance when they run into somebody they know?   my imagination goes wild in those crowds as i ponder where these folks may know each other from, or what their homes must be like…or why some don’t know how to say ‘excuse me’ as they practically knock you over when making their way past you…or why one thinks he can take your chair to where his friends are and sit in it while you’re in the restroom, spilling the blueberry beer that you left in the cupholder…never apologizing once for ruining your chair as he continues talking to his friends…that prick.

so then, after THAT, everyone’s suspect.  along with wonderings and musings about the relationships i see and what these individuals were doing before this festival…what they’ll do after…i’m wondering, ‘does THIS dude think he can violate my space and belongings while i’m not looking like that other jerk?’  …you know, that sort of thing.

SO…i wonder sometimes if those people that i pass in hallways or on streets or in stores…that look away quickly, are SO slow to smile, or stare right past my head has had some type of  encounter, or heard a story about someone with features or an appearance matching mine.

…and to my defense, a girl gets into ONE lousy barfight and–i’ll just stop there.

random…

things i know for sure today…

…nba basketball is not all bad.
…my mom is more brave than she realizes.
…even though i FEEL like serena williams when i’m on the tennis court, i’m almost positive that i LOOK more like…i dunno, hank williams jr.
…sometimes family brings out the worst in you…in which case, i feel you have every right to distance yourself from them…and not feel bad about it.
…i should probably bowl more.
…i just can’t figure out why i lost all interest in ’smallville.’  and i really have given this a lot of thought.
…the next time i see that one man begging at that one intersection, i will give him all the cash that i keep in that one particular place in my car.
…some people have more pet drama than people drama.
…dimples are sexy.
…i wish i had the means to travel the world on a whim…but i know that more than likely, i’d stumble upon the perfect spot immediately…and never leave it.
…i may look like the average chick…but this blog means i’m…not.
…even without speaking a single word with them, chances are that any adult that you see taking a swimming class is pretty awesome…and adorable.

…i am so blessed.

well…i know my strengths…and limitations.

…i’ve always suspected that i might be an impatient person…

the stanford marshmallow study: began in 1960—hungry 4-year-olds were offered a marshmallow, but were told that if they could wait for the experimenter to leave the room & then return, they would get 2 marshmallows instead of 1.  1/3 of the kids grabbed one immediately, a few more waited for awhile, and another 1/3 waited the entire 15-20 mins for the experimenter to get back.  this was a study about self discipline and said a lot about these children and the types of adults they would grow up to be. turns out that when checking on these kids years later, the ones who grabbed the 1 marshmallow quickly turned out to be impulsive, drug-addicted saps who were involved in unhappy relationships & were just all-around unhealthy people altogether. the ones who waited for 2 grew up to be successful, well-adjusted adults with happy, perfect kids & lives, and yachts & stuff…yeah right.
ok, first of all, who would be cruel enough to starve 4 year olds anyway?? and then only offer 1 OR 2 marshmallows??? and they could only get 2 if they voluntarily suffered longer than the others? can’t you just picture starved 4-year-old kids, crawling across the floor to a table with a single marshmallow for each of them? …no milk or anything…those poor dears. why weren’t these evil “interviewers” prosecuted? and why were the results so extreme? couldn’t there have been a happy medium…like, if you waited long enough to get 2, but rebelled and asked to be rewarded with a slice of cake…or $13 instead, couldn’t you have been viewed as..industrious…??  or if you only wanted 1 marshmallow in the first place, couldn’t you have been seen as mature or something?  …i dunno…i don’t have all the details of the study…i’m just saying.

the 2 people that i’m closest to are 2-marshmallow people…they are very patient folks who are able to pace themselves and they practice self control regularly…according to one of them, if i had participated in this study, i would’ve gobbled my 1 marshmallow immediately & then talked a couple of the patient kids into happily offering me the 2 marshmallows that they waited on so patiently…and i would’ve saved those for later. i don’t know what the study would say about that, but i’m thinking it would be something along the lines of ‘future millionaire’.

‘08 stuff

**the following was written just before this past new year’s holiday…but not completed at the time due to a death in my family on the day that i wrote it…still don’t know that it’s completed now–i had actually totally forgotten about it…but when i found it, i thought i would go ahead & post anyway…enjoy**

————

so last year around this time, not wanting to fall into that age-old trap of listing a ton of resolutions i knew i’d never adhere to, i instead made a list of things that i absolutely would NOT do in ‘08, thinking i’d have better luck sticking to my assertions this way…yet again, i failed beautifully.

i thought maybe this year, i’d just recap…or rehash, as my friends often say and do–with no expectations for my year ahead—and see how that goes.   if i’d created this web page earlier in the year, i’d have more documentation to sift thru from all of the past 12 months in order to list like, my favorite moments of the year…but due to my stubbornness & silly fears & reservations about putting my thoughts down, I’ve pretty much only captured the last 6 months here (the first 6 months could pretty much be summed up with one word…or one relationship, as the case may be…amazinglynecessarilybeautifullysoul-searchinglyheavenly…enuff said there).  impossible to recall every moment that…struck me…in some way…without heavy prodding and/or visual stimulation, so here’s a random list of things from ‘08 that i actually did/do remember…for 1 reason or another…

–broken bones
despite a lifetime of clumsiness & masterful accident-prone-ability, this was something i’d managed to avoid before this year. playing football has its perks…but multiple weeks in a half-ton ski boot humbled the crap outta me. i am NOT the superwoman (and by super, i mean ‘able to cause amazing accidents involving other people, while stealthily avoiding serious injury to my own person’) that i thought i was…

–rock & roll hall of fame
visiting this place was an experience that inspired me–as i viewed various famous-people artifacts & soaked up a ton of trivial info about them, i was amazed at how much a single person can accomplish thru music in a lifetime–either as a solo artist or as part of a band–& how these things can affect millions, the world over…so much that even a smelly boot or elastic from underwear they wore at any point in their life can be worth something to somebody, somewhere who never met them or even saw them in person. for this reason, i’ve decided that rather than discard them, from now on, i’m saving one from each pair of sneakers that i own & have begun storing them in an undisclosed closet at my mom’s house–i don’t have the space for that kind of crap at my place…she has no idea how profitable this will turn out to be for her…she’ll love me for it i think…i think i’ll leave it a surprise for her for now…

–babies
this past year, my family was blessed with 2 new babies–the first was born to my tiny first cousin (who will ALWAYS be little Le-Le to me! )…amazing how quickly you can go from carrying around & loving on a cute little kid to doing the same to that kid’s cute little kid.
about 2 weeks later, my little sister had the second baby to steal my heart last year–making me an aunt (and professional baby photographer) for the first time. i don’t think i’ve ever kissed a dimpled cheek so much in my life…gotta get him as much as i can now–before he realizes how NOT cool i am and learns to ‘toddle’ away from me…or before he’s strong enough to overcome the kissing-choke-hold i’m practicing in preparation for his teenage years…i’m just saying…he’s gonna be a big boy…but this auntie will always get her kisses!!

–blogging
besides being one of the best (cheapest & most convenient) ways of recording some of the ridiculous things i’m lucky enough to experience, i actually have the opportunity to incite feedback from the people who were there, or those who don’t understand why anyone was, which is always fun.  there’s now a spot in the world (wide web) that’s totally mine, accessible from anywhere at anytime, by anyone,  where you can find all or most of  the people & things i care about…along with a few random thoughts & opinions about…whatever…amazing.

–discovering  the difference between the blogging i’ve come to embrace and writing with a purpose. 
a couple of years ago, i began writing a random story.  i would pull it up whenever i got bored or sad and change the wording or add a sentence or two whenever the mood hit me…some time passed and i probably had about 10 pages down before i realized that it could actually lead to something more…something interesting…something entertaining. i let a few close people read what i had so far, and their encouragement and questions about what will happen with the characters next have me feeling compelled to answer. i’m still working on this story today with plans of completing it and possibly publishing it within the next year. i now have the desire to become a published novelist…and it feels great. sometimes i lose focus…motivation…other times, i’m obsessed to the point that i can’t concentrate on anything else…to finish it though, is the first real goal i’ve had in some time…i must now & i will.

 –bonfires
as stated in an earlier post–who knew sitting outside around a fire in the cold with a great group of people & cake & hot dogs could be so much fun. i definitely plan on doing more of this…if there’s gonna be cake. =))

–golf
i golfed more in the past 12 months than i have in my whole life…dunno why it took me so long to realize it could be so much fun.  i’m guessing a lot of the enjoyment comes from golfing with folks who are awesome at the game, yet
1) patient enough that they don’t mind how many times i miss the ball altogether before getting a shot off…i only do this when i’m not warmed up or something. (yeah…right) =\
2) are cool enough to climb a tree in the middle of the course in their snazzy golf gear, just because we think the picture would be funny…
3) are able to hold back guffaws and only snicker quietly as they watch me fall in a sandtrap (am not making this up)
i’ve even mastered the art of not looking so shocked when i take a swing that looks right and sends the ball sailing in the correct direction…THAT’S hard.

–england
no, i’ve never been there, but a good friend spent a few months there this year & filled me in on summa the goings-on. she dispelled lots of ignorant myths about the place…and confirmed a few things for me too (see below). she’s terribly funny & was nice enough to answer every stupid question i asked. i got to see awesome pics from her day-to-day, and even a few from stonehenge…felt like i was right there!!

a few excerpts from our emails (my questions & responses are pink, hers blue..):

do those folks over there celebrate thanksgiving? Nope, I had to work Thursday and Friday. you’re a freakin’ amurkan!!  i woulda started a petition for you to have those days off if i’d had advanced notice of the fact that they’re slave drivin’ ya over there.  ‘days never finished, massa got me workin’

 is their beer served warm? No, thank goodness….but no Miller Light or Bud Light anywhere….or Ranch dressing…ranch dressing smells like feet anyway…no big loss there.  No you didn’t!  next you’ll be saying you don’t like bbq sauce or hot sauce!  If you do, I’m coming over there!

and seriously, sum up the ‘dental’ situation over there–are the rumors true?  Not much dental insurance over here so you have to pay out of pocket…I see why they have a teeth situation.  Can’t see that anyone has ever worn braces…so lot’s o teef thrown in willy nilly…this made me laugh out loud.  The brits actually use the term ‘willy nilly’ and ‘tatty moggy’ whatever the hell that means…and they say ‘tick’ instead of ‘check’ and ‘bit’ instead of ‘part’….Typical lunch, ‘why, I only got a few of the best bits, where are all the good bits?’  o and ‘fortnight’…that’s a biggie…and ‘brilliant’ and ‘you’re a star’….they are just different…and very charming to listen to.

do they have a lunch time AND a tea time…or is tea with lunch?  Yes, they have lunch and tea…and they call dinner ‘Tea’ as well…Proper Tea is in the late afternoon and involves tea and scones and biscuits (cookies)…what the hell do they call biscuits then??  They don’t have biscuits, they have scones…which are really dense hard biscuits….if they ever had a real biscuit they would never go back to scones.is the term “iced tea” offensive to them?  Iced tea is an anomaly that they cannot understand….hahahahahaha!!!

 what’s a good dessert there?  Spotted dick.  *GASP*

are there more nekkid people & dead bodies on their tv programs?  They say the F word and you do see much more nakedness over here…sweet!!! you see lots o butt cheek…even in the commercials.

when their babies cry, does it sound like “whaaaaaa” like our babies or do they say something like “eeeeeeww” instead?  Have yet to meet a baby…but I’ll let ya know if I do…

what’s something that you/we do regularly that they just don’t understand?  We don’t travel like they do…we’re arrogant and obnoxious, mainly cause we rock!  I’m not helping the stereotype at all.  I say, ‘Ma’am’ all the time to be polite and I keep getting, ‘stop calling me ‘ma’am’ I’m not the queen!’  What I wasn’t ready for is how damn rude people are over here….old lady scraped my ass big time with her ‘trolley’ at the grocery store….i got nothing!  No, oops, or sorry, mostly just got the, ‘you should get your big ass up out the aisle before I hit it again’ look.

 …i could share more…but as i don’t want to annoy or offend any more Brits today, i’ll stop it there.  besides, you get the idea–bottom line (hehe, i said bottom) i thoroughly enjoyed my friend’s trip to england & hope she travels again at some point…and let’s me tag along then too…it doesn’t cost me a dime.  =))

i grew & learned quite a bit in the last 12 months…the thing i’m noticing is that as i grow older, i’m so much more aware of the lessons from each experience…and i retain them now–that’s a pretty cool thing.  despite any failures, and/or because of them, my year was awesome & there are lots of people who share responsibility for that…and at this very moment, i find myself more grateful than i’ve ever been.

if your new year is half as cool as my last…you’ll be one lucky sunuva—

…where was she running to with so much determination?

picture this:
2 brave friends, nic & zu, locked in an empty room to face a common foe…a fiesty, rubber ball.
the game: racquetball.
the object: scoring? nope. pesky rules? nope. having fun while defending ourselves against a deadly opponent out to kill us both?  yep.
backstory: so, i’ve got this vacation coming up…to someplace warm…soon…and i’m doing all i can to get myself into some kinda shape.  i mean, physically, i seriously could improve what i’m seeing…but more than that, i just wanna be active enuff in the coming weeks to feel a little better about myself as i depart for some time in the sun with all my girls…minus 1. i play outside a lot during the spring & summer, but it’s a little harder to find something to do inside  that keeps my attention long enuff to keep it up during the winter.
this brings me to the one activity that i’ve recently decided to attempt & judging from our 1st time out, i may not survive ’til spring…but i’m perfectly willing to try.  just a couple of reasons why this is probably a bad idea:

1…within 5 minutes of strenuous stretching, i decided i was ready to test the strength of my swing. while standing approximately 4.5 feet from the wall i gave the ball a bounce & with a swing of my racket with my left hand, i connected with the ball perfectly…the most beautiful sound followed as the ball smacked against the wall & then quickly exacted its revenge by catching me in the right armpit unexpectedly, knocking me off balance & adding an odd ‘tickle’ factor to the death-defying danger of the whole situation…and thus was the tone for the night.

2…i was astonished each time zu dived during the course of that hour…not to make a shot, mind you, but to dodge the ball altogether, as if it were a bullet, only to scramble after it as she realized she was actually supposed to hit it before it touched the floor again.

3…my favorite scene of the night was of zu running from the nearest side of the room to the far side with so much purpose, focused on something…as the rubber demon enters the scene from the right & tags zu in the ribs as she yelps with total surprise–she never saw it coming…where was she running to with so much determination? and how do you lose complete sight of the ball like that? who knows…but i would pay  for the opportunity to see that again.

4…there was actually a bit of a volley going where the choices zu & i were making appeared to make sense when suddenly, in the midst of play, the ball disappeared completely…zu & i stopped & looked at each other…both confused…me the most, because the ball turned up beneath my right heel…a feat that i’m sure has never been accomplished with so much grace & dignity during a game of racquetball EVER…i’m SURE of it!

i laughed so incredibly hard the entire hour we played because the ridiculous moments were SO ridiculous that i really should go ahead & apologize to the people who actually play this game by the rules & look halfway decent doing it…i am sorry…sort of.
my goal is to keep a sort of log of our play though & maybe show a little improvement along the way…but there are NO guarantees. besides, if we didn’t look how we look playing, YOU pros wouldn’t look so good!  …you’re freakin’ welcome!!!

you just never know

say you have this one friend whom you’ve always sort of admired. from what you can see, she’s uber-intelligent & successful–both personally & professionally. she’s knowledgeable, cultured, & very well traveled. this friend is always really busy so you hardly ever get to see her, but when you do, she always has a hug & a laugh waiting for you. this friend is so cool that whether you ever say it or not, you’re probably a little intimidated by her.
so you find out recently that when this friend has had any spare time over the years, she’s sung in a band of fun-loving, talent-filled neuro-veterinarian super people. you’re invited to hear them perform at an unbelievable house on a lake one saturday night.
you get there, you eat a lot, you drink a little, you’re introduced to all her impressive, yet warm friends & band mates. you enjoy yourself immensely before the band even starts to play.  then the time comes for you see her perform. you’re sooo proud of all the talent you’ve heard of, but are only just now able to witness for yourself…what’s your favorite part of the night?  when this distinctive & sophisticated friend sings the hinges off the bluesy song “meet me with your black drawers on.” and what do you do while she belts it out? you dance.

ain’t nuthin’ but a number…

i’m getting older.  i’ve heard that the older you get, the less you care about what people think of you or whose feelings you hurt.  in my family, that saying’s been used to defend the mean, but terribly funny great-grandmothers’ & grandfathers’ dreadfully honest outbursts when say, one of the aunts walks into the house wearing a floor-length, sequined dress on a saturday afternoon for no good reason. 
while i do still care a great deal about whether or not i hurt others…i speak up now.  my patience for idiocy is wearing thin, and i can feel it growing thinner by the second.  it seems that during this travel thru my 30s, i’m slowly making a transformation from ‘avoid-confrontation-at-all-costs’ nicki, to’ the ‘i’m-telling-you-you’re-an-idiot-for-not-knowing-better-nicki’ who’s becoming more like her grands, daily.
i wonder if it’s true that once you reach a certain age, you’ve pretty much earned the right to say whatever enters your mind, without a second thought…is 32 old enough…??

today’s definickisms

larger than life: someone who wanders into your life and has such an effect on you and/or your situation, that you know that by simply meeting them, you’ll never be the same again.

crazy luck: when that person volunteers to stay around…like, forever.

DOO-DOO-DOOT-TO-BEE-BOP-PEE-DOO: nic skatz

that’s crap: “i’m sorry, i don’t agree.”

yeah, so?!: “ok…you were right, and i was wrong.”

oh?: “seriously, i’m only listening to you to be polite.”

aww, precious lamb: “you poor dolt.”

that was a good story!:  “got any pancakes?”

too funny: “i’m sleepy.”

of course i’m listening: “nap time!”

movies that i would see again, but you prolly wouldn’t…

i am a movie fool!  i mean, i will watch just about anything.  where some people will walk out of a theater or stop a rented flick right in the middle because they feel it’s an utter waste of their time, i will plug thru it bored outta my mind, and in the end, be able to name at least 1 part of it that was interesting, or that made the whole horrible 1.5 to 2 hrs i spent watching a little easier to swallow.  bottom line:  pretty much every movie has a shot with me. 
i’ve put together a list of just some of the movies that will probably garner a few disapproving head shakes or confused stares for whatever reason–but the fact remains, i watched (most likely more than once) the whole way thru…despite my age and self-perceived level of intelligence…and would probably watch each of them again.

Spice World (…so?)

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (Some of Jim Carrey’s best work)

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (Not nearly as good as the 1st)

Snatch (very funny movie…but most important 2 words–Brad Pitt)

Finding Nemo (Ellen was freakin’ awesome)
Smoking Aces (Something about Alicia Keys & Common)
Practical Magic  (I like Sandra Bullock & Nicole Kidman in this one)
Me, Myself, and Irene  (for some reason, the train scene with Renee Zellweger cracked me up!)
The Incredibles (Animated or not–great story, and plenty of smart adult humor)
The Family Stone  (While I couldn’t stand SJP’s character, the story was pretty touching)
Tap (Movie with Gregory Hines and Sammy Davis Jr. about tap dancing–I’ve practically memorized it)
Evan Almighty (Still confused about why critics bashed it…great movie)
Charlotte’s Web-2006 (Julia Roberts was perfect for this role!)
Pan’s Labrinth (Definitely different, but had to watch it twice before returning…still can’t figure out why…)
Peter Pan (2003 version–i found it enchanting)
Hook (Saw this in theater when it was released…still have no idea why the sight of Robin Williams in tights doesn’t disturb me more than it does…)
Finding Neverland  (Awesome movie with the ever-delicious Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet…beautiful story)
The Last Dragon  (Berry Gordy produced-music filled-chop suey-inspiring story of ‘Bruce Leroy’)
Purple Rain (yet another music-filled movie starring Prince…costarring his high-heeled boots & make-up…long live the ’80’s!)
Billy Elliott (Really good…funny, yet serious & entertaining)
The Long Kiss Goodnight (Geena Davis kicks ass all thru this flick and Samual L. Jackson is awesome as her sidekick)
Center Stage  (Lots of young, beautiful people dancing waayyyy better than they acted)
A League of Their Own  (I watch this every time it comes on tv…which is like, every weekend.)
Pleasantville  (Inexplicably, just a good movie to me)
Blue Crush (Horrible acting, but beautifully shot)
Queen of the Damned (the last movie role the beautiful Aaliyah would ever be cast in…R.I.P)
Van Helsing  (I have a thing for vampires & werewolves…and Hugh Jackman)
Catwoman  (I have a thing for cats and…nevermind)
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (…there’s a vampire in it.)
80 Steps to Jonah  (freakin’ Wayne Newton, 1969!!! …prolly haven’t seen this move in like, 25 years…but for some reason, I remember loving it…maybe I’ll rent…just to see what’s up with that)
The Learning Tree (Another movie from 1969 that I saw when I was very young…and it remains with me today…didn’t find out until about a year ago that it was directed by my hero, Gordon Parks.)
The Princess Diaries 1 & 2 (Am a very big Anne Hathaway fan)
The Devil Wears Prada  (Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep is too funny)
Get Smart- ‘08 (Anne Hathaway, again..but also, I’m a huge fan of Steve Carell & Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson)

Be Cool (John Travolta is good, but Andre Benjamin stole the show for me)

Baby Mama (Amy Poehler is genius in this movie!)
The Princess Bride (Love story, classic)

There are soo many other movies that I could add…maybe I will later, but this is just a taste of the types of things I could be watching (but you prolly wouldn’t) on any given day…

notes to self (work)

never walk into a public restroom with your mouth open–i don’t care what cool person’s holding the door for you as they walk out–keep your lips closed & wave at them…or chance being greeted by remnants of the monster scent they left behind that will stick to your teeth ’til you can brush them again…seriously, sometimes it’s like, worse than your dad’s was when–nevermind.

never use just any coworker’s lotion–soon as you start slathering it on, you realize that they are the confusing smell lingering in the copy room that you could never figure out.

do not work out with coworkers at the gym if you’re sensitive to smell–you’ll never look at them the same again…

do not make ‘yucky face’ when you recognize the brown clogs that made a bee-line from the stall to the door of the restroom (bypassing the sink) after the flush, earlier that day.

do not make ‘yucky face’ again when you realize that ‘brown clogs’ brought in the cake your cube-mate is devouring after lunch…and do not smile about it either.

more things i might like to know…

why i sometimes shove food into my mouth like i’m afraid someone is gonna try to steal it…why i sniff when certain types of people walk past me…why i hold my breath when other types walk past me…why your smell tastes so good to me…why i’ve now watched ‘high school musical’ 3 times…what it is about LL Cool J…why this is the 1st year i’ve ever watched the BET awards from start to finish…why i’ve never thought d.l. hughley was really all that funny…why i still really want envogue to get back together…why all my jeans fit differently every freakin’ time i put ‘em on(!)…what it is that folks see in lil’ wayne…seriously…why that ‘kiddie’ voice you do freaks me out…why i like jumping rope like i do…why i waited ’til i was 32 to start running for exercise…why i don’t admit more openly that gospel music is probably my favorite…why i don’t like curtains in my bedroom…why i love how ‘cool water’ smells, but would never wear it myself…if i’ll ever sing in front of a church again…why the football never spirals when i throw it…why i never watched dave chappelle…how alicia keys became so eloquently gangsta…why some people don’t seem to understand that when i say, “i’m allergic to your pet,” i’m not kidding…how those dudes keep their sagging jeans from falling around their ankles…how i survived for so long without an iPOD…why i hate cold weather, unless it’s snowing…how the heck i know the 2 correct answers i get each week on jeopardy…why rainbow sandals cost fifty freakin’ dollars…and why i pay it…why i wanna know.

one day, i might like to know

why i think the way i do…why i walk like this…how to see auras i feel…why some people are brave enough to stare, but too afraid to speak to me…how to not be ticklish when my brother attacks me…why it took me so many years (over 30) to wanna watch an entire nba game…why i want to travel so much…how i know i’ll get to…how it is that we get on like we do…why my family is so cool…why kids seem drawn to me (good)…why cats seem drawn to me (bad)…why i can remember some dreams, but not others…whether or not my dreams are in color…why i like rollercoasters so much…why i wish for thunderstorms…how i stay ahead, despite how unorganized i am…why writing makes me feel so good…how it is that i’m allergic to the entire planet…why i’m always asked to play so many sports when i really don’t know how…why i notice the little things…why so many little things make me laugh…why so many little things make me cry…why i get so many hugs…how i got to be so blessed…why i get sooo excited about the summer olympics…why i love the water so much…how i’ve gotten to meet so many cool ass people…why i love naps the way i do…how pancakes became my favorite thing(s)…how i was in the dark about blueberry pancakes with blueberry syrup from the cracker barrel for so long…how i’ll ever keep from eating them weekly, from now on…why it’s called the cracker barrel…what it is about alicia keys…if i could ever really skydive…what made me bungee jump that one day…how my mom was able to watch without fainting…how my brother got to be so smart and brave…why i love babies the way i do…how i became such a good baker…why i burn so much food in the microwave…why i can’t get enough of you…why my weight balloons up and down…what i’m gonna be when i grow up…why you chose me…why bugs creep me out…why anybody would eat a squid…why we let dubya’s first ‘election’ into the presidency stand…who was actually dumb enough to vote him in a second time…what all the men who translated the bible were like…and how much of what we believe is based on how they believed…how i contain all my love for you…who ever said stirrup pants were cool…why my mom believed them…what it is about brad pitt…why i smile so much…why i laugh so hard…what those i care most about dream of…what my dad thinks of me…when i’ll get to take a cruise…which mobile company does have the largest coverage area…why i want to know…