some may have an urge to do something; and there are those who possess a talent for doing it well…then, there are the people walking among us who are able to grab a mic and channel ‘amazing’, using the loudest of subtleties of words & play, putting their very essence out there so tangibly and so clearly that everyone within earshot of their work truly feels every word they’ve chosen to stoke us with…and the imprint they leave shows in the goose bumps we’re all covered in when they’re done.
they make you feel like you’re a privy to something that only you and the select few present are trusted with and frankly, it’s one that you couldn’t find the words to justly convey anyway…so i’ll stop trying now…but at the very least, i owe them this attempt.
Archive for the 'Spicy (dot, dot, dot)' Category
spoken
come to me…
**originally posted on 11/06**
When time spent has been blissful, carefree, and my cheeks are sore from smiling, at the end of my day, you are there–I feel you beside me.
When the sky is overcast and I find myself staring into my favorite shade of blue-gray, you are there, watching with me as sunshine and brilliant rainbows peek thru the deepest clouds. You listen with a smile and your arm is around me as I tell you for the thousandth time, “I wish it could stay like this forever. . .” And later that night, when the air is warm and stormy, the rain awakens me. Thunder resounds and my senses are heightened, aching for any sign of you. I feel you then—you come to me.
Oftentimes, when I’m snapped back to reality by a passing car, or awakened unwillingly from the deepest dreams of us, I look around, reaching for you, swearing that you were just laughing with me, looking into my eyes, wrapped around me, inside me.
There are nights when hurt squeezes my body and worry takes my breath. You are there, calming me, whispering in my ear as you envelope me in your arms—I feel you–you come to me.
My mind understands that you’re not here, but my heart takes you everywhere I go. Empty spaces around me are filled with you. Hell for me is life without you.
Come to me now. Explain to me one last time why the world is worth knowing if you’re not here with me.
sparks vs. the flame
…so just to revisit a discussion from earlier today…i asked which you prefer–the sparks or the flame. remember? i told you that EYE prefer the sparks. you first chose the flame. i explained my definition/gave examples of what equates ’sparks’ to me:
my first example had to do with a particular night we shared…the slow beginning of the end of it…soft kisses…words whispered…wanting…moving…building up to the ‘flame’, which i described as ‘varying in temperature all the way up until’ the embers smoldered as we slept.
more examples of our sparks…to a lesser degree:
the little things like subtle touches while we walk and while we eat together closely, in our own little bubble…how our hands always seem to find each other, without us ever having to think about it…(ever notice how it’s never just one hand? =)) i described it as ‘magnetic, warm and subconsciously deep’. during this last visit, we had sparks throughout every day, with a few fiery looks sprinkled in for good measure. then, the actual flames at night…
i smile as i remember that it was at this point in the conversation that you changed your preference from ‘the flame’ to ’sparks’…and added examples of your own:
me napping in your lap, us jumping waves in the ocean, playing on the beach, the theater, standing close, speaking softly, with sharks swimming over our heads (we did a lot in a very short time, huh?), sharing food, watching each other…
yeah, we’re definitely ’sparks’ people…the flame is just the icing on the cake…
i love you.
now? please?
can i have some of that thing you do? you know–the one thing that leads to the other stuff that i want so badly i can feel it all before you start. how ’bout giving me a little of that one sensation that i crave more than anything…well, anything except for your arms around me…after. truth is, i dream about you when i’m wide awake, the vision of your lithe form not even close to the reality of the touch, the warmth, the taste of you when you’re really here with me. i want you, even when i’m late & rushing…listening & laughing…working & playing. my body responds to things i want to feel from you, but haven’t yet…but i know i will. and when i do, you’ll know exactly how hard it’s been for me to wait, to do without…you…here…
say it
and if you feel something, will you say it? or hint at it, whether it’s good or bad? if you do nothing and i sense something…will you change your mind and open up…let me in, even if only for a peek? for you, my schedule’s open, so i can stay as long as you like…or until you’ve given all you want me to have. i’ll listen more than talk. please understand that i may not understand everything that you share…but feel that i’ll feel every word you say.
or if you feel something, will you show it? will you move beyond the promise to the action of what you feel? …will you initiate an opportunity to drop all your inhibitions and let me see what’s really up–give me a glimpse inside and underneath what’s out for all the others to see? can you communicate without words for a bit…filling the quiet with your own unconventional silence…the loudness of your emotions, deafening…your movements echoing your melody, composed for my ears only…filled with the truest words never spoken…and the purest of intentions…all without uttering a sound?
will you? can you? and then teach me to do the same…?
